OH SHI-

I'm, like, old.

Hello. I am here to inform you that Craven is otherwise unavailable for the moment, possibly for the rest of the weekend. He is in good hands rest assured.

He has also asked me to inform you that he passed his exams with "flying colours" should any of you have worried.

This is all.

I had my last semester final today. I haven't been doing much of anything lately excepting studying nonstop. I'm pretty confident that I passed, but I still have this part of me that worries.... I spent some time with Knox after the written portion of our exam and he laughed at me for feeling so insecure. :/ I can't help it. This means so much to me. If I were to fail...

Let's just. Not go there.

I've spent the evening at home (ALONE thank you) taking care of various things I have been ignoring due to my studies. I had a very pleasant evening cleaning! I rearranged my bedroom as well. It was feeling a bit stale. It's much livelier now.

Since I'm on a break now for a few weeks, I'm going back to work for a bit. I'm actually very excited about this! I miss being at my bar. I miss the people and my co-workers (especially Effie!) and mixing drinks all night. I really just can't wait to suit up and twirl some glasses around. ;) I wonder if I'll recognize anyone there anymore. There were always regulars, but perhaps they've long gone in the months I haven't been there.

I also found out some interesting news. Apparently Asia has been going to the gym regularly with Knox. It seems they're pretty good buddies now. Yeah, I'm giggling. I'm sorry, Asia, but I can't picture you at a gym... let alone working out! He says he's been helping you do some weight lifting! Are you trying to buff up, mister? I'm trying not to laugh, I really am, but c'mon... As, we love you and your skinny arms!

*coughs* I mean. I totally support it but... yeah. I just keep picturing them working out together and their macho, sweaty man-talk about how much they can bench press. Hahaha!

Sorry, As. But you can't blame me can you? You'll always be that cute scrawny kid with the dopey smile to me. ;)

I'm tired of fretting about my exam scores. I should go for a walk.

I'm really sorry about this everyone but it has to be done.

MOTHERFUCKER!

It should be noted that I need supervision when using staplers. I STAPLED MY FINGER. YES. I REALLY DID. Shut up, it hurts like HELL. Damnit. Even though it happened Friday, it still hurts insane amounts.

Though, Xander DID make a delicious dinner, and he's currently making me coffee. His delicious, incredible coffee. At 10:30pm. Yes. He says he wants me "awake" for a while. >) I figure that should distract me from all this awfulPAINGODDAMNIT. I feel like a gimp now. At least Xander still finds my gibbled finger attractive.

Oh lord. I'm whining and gushing all at once. I'm so ashamed of myself.

Asia Hidaka. You are in SO MUCH SHIT. We need to talk. Now. Since you're not answering your phone and I KNOW you're home you're going to talk to me HERE since you can hide behind your computer.

I seriously cannot BELIEVE this.

Um, yeah. Been a while, huh? A lot has happened...

We arrived back from Dexx's yesterday afternoon. Casey is adorable. And so quiet! He hardly cried the entire time I was there! He seemed to really like the blanket my mom made him too. It was nice to visit there with Asia and Jorden. It felt very warm and family-like. I've also offered to design a nursery for Casey. They don't live that far away and right now his nursery is just a plain white room with some furniture! Hardly a place for a cute little guy like him. I figure I'll start the beginning of October. I'll need something else to occupy my time besides school...

I did finally finish Xander's place. It's pretty amazing in there now. Fish tank and all! I haven't seen him in a little bit though... It seems we're both busy but I have a feeling it's not just... *sighs* I don't really feel like talking about this... Especially since Asia finally caught on and I just know he'll want to play sympathetic best friend. :/ I don't know whether I'm frustrated or just bummed.

Anyway. I am in school right now and I'm loving every second of it. Most of it is a breeze for me because I've already DONE this stuff in a real life situation. I'm glad school is going so smoothly. It helps ease the rest of the stress I'm feeling... You know, I've been in my new apartment for a while now but I'm still not used to it. I'm just not used to living alone I think. I've been living with someone (or sometimes several people) for my entire life. It's just... weird to be completely alone. I don't have to share anything!

In time I'm sure I'll feel better. It just takes some getting used to. A lot of things take time getting used to. I'm still working my old job, just part-time. I couldn't bear to quit. Not just yet anyway. I'm only in twice, sometimes three times a week but I still feel like I own the place. *grins* The new guy they hired to take over my full-time position is a complete rookie, but whenever I'm there I make sure to tutor him in MY style of bartending. Perhaps I'll feel better about leaving for good once I know this new guy can competently take my place. I've got to pass on the torch!

I wonder if Xander is busy tonight? He is just five minutes away from me by bike (yes, my shiny red motorbike. I got the license for it a while ago). I think I'll go call him.

:)

I've been unusually tired this weekend. I seem to fall asleep rather easily in... places that... aren't my bed...

*coughs lightly*

It's... um. Well. It was nice. Yeah. I only wish... Well, that's not important.

X's living room is thisclose to being finished. Tomorrow! I hope you're prepared, X. Prepared to have the nicest living room in the city! Okay, maybe just the building...

My mother sent me a "care package" on Friday. She made me cookies. I'm going to bring them to work with me. Ah, work... I should really be heading there.

By the way, X, your couch is extremely comfortable.

Oh thank GOD I have a few minutes to MYSELF. My parents are here. Asia and Jordy will be coming over later, something which I did not know about until, oh, five minutes ago when my mother kindly informed me! She said "Craven, I've invited over Asia and his partner for your birthday dinner!"

Asia and his PARTNER. I cracked up inside. *snickers* Oh... hang on! How did she know his number to contact him? The way she said it made it seem like this had been planned some time ago... SOMETHING FISHY IS GOING ON HERE.

Anyway, my dad keeps going through my things! He finds most of it funny and/or feels a need to criticize me. As always. *sigh* And my mom... Ah, my mom.

You know what the first thing out of her mouth was when I opened the door at nine in the morning in my boxers and slippers? She asked me if I was engaged yet, dating or looking to be dating. How's THAT for a birthday wake-up call?

All right, so I'm delaying here...

My parents wanted to give me my birthday present early. This forced me to actually wake up and shower and all that good stuff before eleven. I knew they were coming to see me, of course, but so early? And with a present when I had expressly said NOT to buy me anything?

Right, so, my parents gave me some sketchy looks and then walked me down to the parking lot of my building.

And cue the "WHOA". They bought me a motorbike! Seriously! It was REAL! It wasn't even a cardboard cut-out or something! It's red and very shiny and it sounds all manly and stuff. At least that's what my dad said. *eye roll* I haven't driven it yet (okay, okay, around the block!) because, oh yeah, remember how I don't have a license to operate it?

My mother said "We'll just pay for your test, dear!"

Ah, my mother...

Anyway, yeah, I have a motorbike now. That'll be going into storage until I can find the time/energy/funds to get a bloody license. I'm thinking later in the summer most likely. I'm a little busy at the moment and my car is just fine. Oh, I sound so ungrateful... I'm not! I'm just... surprised.

It's almost six now and my parents haven't left me alone ALL DAY until just now. And X called me earlier... It was... awkward. I couldn't really talk much with my mother right beside me...

So of course I eventually had to tell them that I was doing X... Er, X's flat. I mean, I'm redecorating it! And all of that. Yeah. And they... they seemed pleased... ish. More like my mom wanted to MEET HIM and my dad still thinks I'm crazy and I should choose a "real" profession to work in, blah blah, cue thirty minute speech.

God, talk about best birthday ever, right? And they wonder why I moved out...

So they're gone for a while now. They went to find a hotel and any other random things my mom wants to do (like buy more food because the bags she brought with her won't be ENOUGH). It's highly inconvenient that my roommates are all home and snickering at me... I'm sure my mom will make them join in on the birthday dinner too!

I think I've still got some time to myself before the fiesta begins. Lord help me.

I should call X maybe. Just to, uh... make sure. Of stuff.

At least I'm going to get cake tonight. And seeing Asia and Jordy will be nice. Until Asia starts bonding with my mother again. I don't need to explain that. WE ALL KNOW WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT. *sigh*

I'm going to organize my bookshelf now. It'll help me relax.

I never remember to update this thing! Why is the internet such a vast and confusing place?! It is full of wonder, yes, and porn. But I get lost!

Enough of that though.

I still haven't heard anything from the school I want to go to. What is taking them so long? I keep thinking I should call... But then I think, "Craven, what if they rejected you? What then?" I don't want to cry on the phone to a stranger.

Not that I would actually cry! I wouldn't. I might get snippy and mean though. Snippy. One of my fellow bartenders at work used that word last night. She said I was being "snippy" with her. It pretty much made my night!

One of my roommates has food poisoning. I feel bad for him... I mean, I TOLD him not to eat the leftovers in the fridge that had been there since... since a long time ago but he didn't listen! I knew I should have tossed it out. But it was his and I felt bad just throwing it away... And now I have to listen to him puking. And whining. It's very upsetting! I'm torn between wanting to help him and just laughing at his misfortune...

Speaking of misfortune. I went out Sunday afternoon to pick up groceries (this is also why the food poisoning is confusing me. We have lots of food so why is he eating old leftovers?) and the strangest thing happened. This... this guy bumped right into me and made me drop my eggs! MY EGGS! I was holding a big carton of eggs and I was checking them over and then just out of NOWHERE this dude jostled me and down they went. They made a really ugly noise when they crashed.

I almost got mad, but then I got a look at him... He was really hot. Really hot. I think I made an ass of myself after that. No, I KNOW I did. I hate it when I get all stupid. I stutter and talk a lot and I probably flailed. I think I learned that from Asia at a young age...

Yes. I'll blame Asia! THANKS A LOT, AS.

Anyway. Back to sexy guy at the grocery store. He didn't exactly apologize (*I* did a million times even though *he* ran into *me*) but he picked up the eggs for me and made up some excuse to the store clerk about it. He was actually very nice and pleasant about it all. So as if that wasn't bad enough... He has a German accent. Holyyyyy shit.

Right, so, after I got myself some new eggs he grabbed some milk and then we had this awkward moment. You know when you want to say something but you don't know what? Well, he just nodded at me and said... something. I couldn't really understand. Maybe it was "have a nice day"?

So strange! Oh, I almost forgot! He was wearing sunglasses. It was totally weird. But it was sunny outside on Sunday so he was probably too lazy to take them off? They made him really hot though...

Ah, sexy men. I have far too little of that in my life...

ASIA, NO. NO THAT WAS NOT AN INVITATION TO SET ME UP. I SAID NO.

Oh, I should go. I wanted to work some more on my portfolio! I need to start doing more. Maybe I can design some rooms for a cousin or something.

So I'm sitting there eating a bagel and sipping coffee when it hits me: why don't I use the internet to keep in better contact with loved ones?

Genius? That's what I was thinking.

It's my fault for not keeping in better contact, however. Sometimes it's just harder than it should be. I guess moving across the city from him wasn't such a bright idea after all. I mean, the less I see him every day the harder it is to just call him up and talk.

Well, anyway, here I am! With my coffee. I love my coffee.

So... I think I'm supposed to talk about my day or life or something random like that. I know, I can see you quivering in excitement. I shant delay a moment longer!

Basically I work full-time at the same club I've been at for years and I'm currently applying at different schools. YES, I KNOW. SCHOOLS. I figure I can only be like Martha if I get the right training. OH, YES. MY DAY WILL COME. Hmm, anything else? Not really. Haven't been laid in ages. Don't even flirt anymore. I guess I'm just preoccupied.

Oh! ASIA, I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS. WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME AND TELL ME YOU HAD BROKEN YOUR LEG?! See, now, if I hadn't had my genius idea to use this internet thing I may have NEVER KNOWN. You wound me, As.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to give this journal of mine an extreme home makeover.